This may be a fairly negative blog, just so people are forewarned. I'm pretty sure nobody reads this anyway, but just in case somebody does, negativity is abound.
Pet Peeve Number 1: New Year's Resolutioners.
That is right. I've had up to here with you people! Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with setting goals for yourself. You should have goals! By all means, try and make yourself into a better person, try to achieve something physically or mentally that you have not done before, or have not completed before. It's good for you! But I mean really, do you need a special date on the calendar to say "I need to fix this about my life... this is what I'm going to do"? Ummm...NO! I have to admit, I am writing this for purely selfish reasons. The reason you people drive me up the wall is that you march into the gym (my gym, yes, that is right, I do not share the gym) with your shiny and bright new exercise shoes and your never-been-worn workout outfit with the idea that you are going to get fit this year. You will be buff, ripped, muscley...whatever. You will be the thin swimsuit model you have dreamed of being since you realized your thighs were too fat, your stomach too big, and your butt disproportional to the rest of your body. Well I have news for you bucko! If you think a few weeks at the gym is going to give you this body, you have another thing coming! This takes a lot of work! And mind you, this is coming from someone who has plenty of experience with the whole "I want a better body" crap. So, do me a favor, if you are not serious about this goal, pick another one that you can accomplish to your satisfaction. Because let me tell you, nothing makes me crankier than the first couple of months of the new year when people start coming to the gym and taking up my favorite machines (see? selfish reasons, but these are peeves after all). I have a limited time to workout, and when I have to wait to get on a machine I want, or I have to workout on the crappy stair-stepper, I become somewhat frothy at the mouth. Especially since I know you people aren't sticking with it. How do I know this? Well after a month or two, the gym goes back to the normal population of regulars (for the most part, kudos to those who actually stick with it). So save me the grief and stay home if you really don't want to change your life. If you do plan on doing the whole exercise thing, and you are serious about it, by all means come to the gym and enjoy yourself. I will welcome you in March when I know you plan on staying.
Pet Peeve Number 2: Misusing the exercise equipment
This relates to Peeve Number 1. Now, obviously someone who has not worked out ever, will have problems figuring out how to use the cardio machines properly or how to lift weights correctly. This is what the nice people sitting at the front desk are for. They will teach you how to do things properly. However, this also applies to people who are regulars. I do not want to hear weights slamming against each other. This loud noise is obnoxious and rude. It's not good for the weight machines either. Plus when it happens, it scares the bejeezes out of me, thus making me frothy at the mouth again. This behavior does not make you macho Mr. Six-pack. It makes you lose gold stars in my little gym etiquette grade book, which...oh boy, you REALLY don't want to do! I mean, what could be worse than pissing off quiet, polite, and mostly nice little me? Also, stand up straight when you use the darn cardio machines! They are not for draping your entire upper body over! They are not trees for leaning on! They are calorie burning monsters. If you want the full benefits of their power, don't lean on them! Move your entire body weight around! You burn more calories that way! Plus, I don't have to listen to you complain about your sore back the next day!
Pet Peeve Number 3: Not wiping equipment off when you are done.
This irritates the crap out of me. Hey guess what?!?! Did you know that sweat is a dilute form of urine? Oh yes, true story! You are essentially peeing through your pores...all over the exercise equipment that must be shared between hundreds of people. Do I look like the kind of person that wants to get your dried up urine on me when I touch the exercise equipment? I most certainly am not that kind of person! It takes but a few seconds to spray some disinfectant on a paper towel and wipe down you freaking machine when you are done! As Nike would say "Just do it!" I mean really, if urine is not enough to deter you from cleaning your machine, think of all the germs that are being spread around. Do you need the flu? Do ya?! In fact, just clean up after yourself in general. There is a lady that I always see swimming, and she takes equipment out, and she never puts it back when she is done! Really? Is it that hard to put something back where you got it? The people who work at the gym are not your mother. Clean up after yourself. Not a hard concept.
So there you have it. A blog full of negativity. Hopefully this will not happen again for a while.
